Psychological Risks: Traumatic Aftereffects of Abortion

 This excerpt is taken from: http://theunchoice.com/pdf/OnePageFactSheets/PsychologicalRisksSheet1.pdf

Please link to that source to print this material

Suicide
• 6 times higher suicide rate. Aborting women were six-seven times more likely to commit suicide in the following year than were delivering women.1 A study of women for up to eight years after the preganncy ended found a 2.5 times higher suicide rate after abortion than after giving birth.2
• Up to 60% have suicidal thoughts. In a study in a major scientific journal, 31% of women had thoughts of suicide after undergoing an abortion.3 In another survey, approximately 60% of women with post-abortion problems reported suicidal thoughts, with 28% attempting suicide and half of those attempting suicide two or more times.4

Depression
• 65% higher risk of clinical depression. Women who aborted were 65% more likely than delivering women to be at risk of long-term clinical depression after controlling for age, race, education, marital status, income, and prior psychiatric state.5
• Depression risk remained high, even when pregnancies were unplanned. Among women with unintended first pregnancies, aborting women were at significantly higher risk of long-term clinical depression compared to delivering women.6

Trauma
• 65% report symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. 65% of U.S. women who had abortions experienced multiple symptoms of PTSD, which they attributed to their abortions. Slightly over 14% reported all the symptoms necessary for a clinical diagnosis of abortion-induced PTSD.3
• 60% said they felt “part of me died.” In the above study, 60% reported that they felt “part of me died” after their abortions.3
• More psychiatric treatment. Compared to women who deliver, women who abort are more than twice as likely to be subsequently hospitalized for psychiatric illness within six months.7 Analysis of California Medicaid records shows that women who have abortions subsequently require significantly more treatments for psychiatric illness through outpatient care.8
• Multiple disorders and regrets. In a study eight weeks after abortion, 36% of women experienced sleep disturbances, 31% had regrets about the abortion, and 11% had been prescribed psychotropic medicine by their family doctor.9
• Generalized anxiety disorder. Among women with no previous history of anxiety, women who aborted a first, unplanned pregnancy were 30% more likely to subsequently report all the symptoms associated with a diagnosis for generalized anxiety disorder, compared to women who carried to term.10
• Sleep disorders. In a study of women with no known history of sleep disorders, women were more likely to be treated for sleep disorders after having an abortion compared to giving birth (nearly twice as likely in the first 180 days afterwards). Numerous studies have shown that trauma victims often experience sleep difficulties.11
• Disorders not pre-existing. A New Zealand study found that women had higher rates of suicidal behavior, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other disorders after abortion. The study found that these were not pre-existing problems.12 Eating disorders & substance abuse
• 39% had eating disorders. In a survey of women with post-abortion problems, 39% reported subsequent eating disorders.13
• Five-fold higher risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Excluding women with a prior history of substance abuse, those who abort their first pregnancy are 5 times more likely to report subsequent drug and alcohol abuse vs. those who give birth.14

Divorce and chronic relationship problems
• Women with a history of abortion are significantly more likely to subsequently have shorter relationships and more divorces.15
• More poverty and single parenthood after repeat abortions. Women who have more than one abortion (nearly half of those seeking abortions each year16) are more likely to become single parents and to require public assistance.17
• 30-50% of post-abortive women report experiencing sexual dysfunctions such as promiscuity, loss of pleasure from intercourse, increased pain, and aversion to sex and/or men.18
• Studies have identified factors that put women at risk for negative reactions to abortion, including feeling pressured to abort, lack of support, being more religious, prior emotional or psychological problems, adolescence, being unsure of her decision, and receiving little or no counseling prior to abortion.19 01/08

Citations
1. Gissler, Hemminki & Lonnqvist, "Suicides after pregnancy in Finland, 1987-94: register linkage study," British Journal of Medicine 313:1431-4, 1996; and M. Gissler, “Injury deaths, suicides and homicides associated with pregnancy, Finland 1987-2000,” European J. Public Health 15(5):459-63,2005.
2. DC Reardon et. al., “Deaths Associated With Pregnancy Outcome: A Record Linkage Study of Low Income Women,” Southern Medical Journal 95(8):834-41, Aug. 2002.
3. VM Rue et. al., “Induced abortion and traumatic stress: A preliminary comparison of American and Russian women,” Medical Science Monitor 10(10): SR5- 16, 2004.
4. D. Reardon, Aborted Women, Silent No More (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2002).
5. JR Cougle, DC Reardon & PK Coleman, “Depression Associated With Abortion and Childbirth: A Long-Term Analysis of the NLSY Cohort,” Medical Science Monitor 9(4):CR105-112, 2003.
6. DC Reardon, JR Cougle, “Depression and unintended pregnancy in the National Longitudinal Study of Youth: a cohort study,” British Medical Journal 324:151-2, 2002.
7. DC Reardon et. al., “Psychiatric admissions of low-income women following abortions and childbirth,” Canadian Medical Association Journal 168(10): May 13, 2003.
8. PK Coleman et. al., “State-Funded Abortions Versus Deliveries: A Comparison of Outpatient Mental Health Claims Over Four Years,” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 72(1):141-152, 2002.
9. Ashton,"The Psychosocial Outcome of Induced Abortion", British Journal of Ob & Gyn. 87:1115-1122, 1980.
10. JR Cougle, DC Reardon, PK Coleman, “Generalized Anxiety Following Unintended Pregnancies Resolved Through Childbirth and Abortion: A Cohort Study of the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth,” Journal of Anxiety Disorders 19:137-142 (2005).
11. DC Reardon and PK Coleman, “Relative Treatment Rates for Sleep Disorders and Sleep Disturbances Following Abortion and Childbirth: A Prospective Record Based-Study,” Sleep 29(1):105-106, 2006.
12. DM Fergusson et. al., “Abortion in young women and subsequent mental health,” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 47(1): 16-24, 2006.
13. T. Burke with D. Reardon, Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2002) 189, 293
14. DC Reardon, PG Ney, “Abortion and Subsequent Substance Abuse,” American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse 26(1):61-75, 2000.
15. Shepard, et al., "Contraceptive Practice and Repeat Induced Abortion: An Epidemiological Investigation," J. Biosocial Science 11:289-302, 1979; M. Bracken, "First and Repeated Abortions: A Study of Decision-Making and Delay," J. Biosocial Science 7:473-491, 1975; S. Henshaw, "The Characteristics and Prior Contraceptive Use of U.S. Abortion Patients," Family Planning Perspectives, 20(4):158-168, 1988; D. Sherman, et al., "The Abortion Experience in Private Practice," Women and Loss: Psychobiological Perspectives, ed. W.F. Finn, et al., (New York: Praeger Publishers, 1985) 98-107; E.M. Belsey, et al., "Predictive Factors in Emotional
Response to Abortion: King's Termination Study - IV," Social Science and Medicine 11:71-82, 1977; E. Freeman, et al., "Emotional Distress Patterns Among Women Having First or Repeat Abortions," Obstetrics and Gynecology 55(5):630-636, 1980; C. Berger, et al., "Repeat Abortion: Is it a Problem?" Family Planning Perspectives 16(2):70-75 (1984).
16. “Facts in Brief: Induced Abortion,” The Alan Guttmacher Institute (www.agi-usa.org), 2002.
17. Speckhard, Psycho-social Stress Following Abortion, (Kansas City, MO: Sheed & Ward, 1987); and Belsey, et al., "Predictive Factors in Emotional Response to Abortion: King's Termination Study - IV," Social Science & Med.icine 11:71-82, 1977.
18. Speckhard, Psycho-social Stress Following Abortion, (Kansas City, MO: Sheed & Ward, 1987); and Belsey, et al., "Predictive Factors in Emotional Response to Abortion: King's Termination Study - IV," Social Science & Med.icine 11:71-82, 1977. See also P.K. Coleman, V.M. Rue, C.T. Coyle, "Induced abortion and intimate relationship quality in the Chicago Health and Social Life Survey," Public Health (2009), doi:10,1016/j.puhe.2009.01.005.
19. David C. Reardon, “The Duty to Screen: Clinical, Legal, and Ethical Implications of Predictive Risk Factors of Post-Abortion Maladjustment,” The Journal of Contemporary Health Law and Policy 20(2):33-114, Spring 2004.

Your friendly neighborhood Abortion Doctor

A compilation of quotes from abortion doctors and clinic workers:  http://www.pregnantpause.org/abort/workers_say.htm

"In medical practice, there are few surgical procedures given so little attention and so underrated in its potential hazards as abortion. It is a commonly held view that complications are inevitable."

-- Warren Hern, Abortionist

"[The abortionists] get to go inflict pain on someone for five minutes ...

-- Charlotte Taft, Former Clinic Administrator

"No one ever says 'Thank you' to an abortionist."

-- Unidentified Abortionist

"Every woman ... has a trauma at destroying a pregnancy ... This is a part of her own life. When she destroys a pregnancy she is destroying herself."

-- Dr. Julius Fogel, Psychiatrist/OB who has performed over 20,000 abortions

"Even now I feel a little peculiar about it because as a physician I was trained to conserve life, and here I am destroying it."

-- Unidentified Abortionist

"If the abortion is well done, we don't have to watch the baby die. So we inject a salt solution. The result is like putting salt on a slug, but we don't have to watch it."

-- Dr. Russell Sacco, M.D.

"... [abortion] is still the dark side of medicine."

-- Morris Wortman, Abortionist
Democrat and Chronicle, July 5. 1992

"I guess I never realized I would find [performing abortions] as unpleasant as I do. I really don't enjoy it at all. It's not a rewarding thing to do ... [patients] look at you as an evil person who is deliberately putting them through a painful procedure ... it's their whole attitude that bothers me. I feel like a simple thank you is in order, instead of 'Why are you doing this to me?'"

-- New York Abortionist
The New York Times Magazine, January 18. 1998

"[Doing abortions] can make you feel bad ... No matter how pro-choice you are, it makes you feel low."

-- New York Abortionist
The New York Times Magazine, January 18. 1998

"The abortion clinics never accept any responsibility for complications. They just say it was not their fault. The concern is not the patient at this time. The concern is with taking care of the doctor and keeping his reputation and the clinic's [reputation] clean."

-- Carol Everett, Former Clinic Director and Owner

"You know that there is something alive in there that you're killing."

-- Unidentified Abortionist
In Necessity and Sorrow, Magna Denes, New York: Basic Books. lnc., 1976

"The sensations of dismemberment flow through the forceps like an electric current."

-- Dr. Warren Hern, Abortionist
Associations of Planned Parenthood Physicians meeting, San Diego, October 26, 1978

"It's a nasty, dirty, yucky thing and I always come home angry."

-- David Zbaraz, Abortionist
Washington Post, March 3, 1980

"In some ways it is very boring, these abortions -- the same thing day after day. In fact the nurses are excited about complications because it's something different."

-- A Director of Nursing at an abortion facility
In Necessity and Sorrow, Magna Denes, New York: Basic Books. Inc.. 1976

"An abortion kills the life of a baby after it has begun. It is dangerous to your life and health. It may make you sterile so that when you want a child you cannot have it."

"Plan Your Children", Planned Parenthood pamphlet, 1962

"[The abortion procedure is] inherently negative. I don't think that anyone can say that abortion is right. It's a form of life ... This has to be killing ..."

-- New York Abortionist
Democrat and Chronicle, July 5, 1992

"[The governing force behind the abortion industry is] money. It's a very lucrative business. It is the largest unregulated industry in our nation."

-- Carol Everett, Former Clinic Director and Owner

On Abortionists ...

"[The few doctors willing to replace those who are retiring are] mostly physicians who have had difficulty establishing regular ob-gyn practices." Mentioning a clinic in Nebraska where a young doctor was brought in to replace an older one, "Out of his first six months of work, there are nine malpractice suits ... After it was apparent the guy was a klutz, they kept using him, and trying to cover for him, because they couldn't find another provider."

-- Robert Crist, Abortionist
St. Petersburg Times, June 3, 1990

"[Abortion is] the dirty work of our field. The sad truth is that the people who moonlight at the clinics are grade-B doctors. They're not the cream of the crop."

Unidentified Pro-abortion OB/GYN
The New York Times Magazine, January 18, 1998

"These guys are pitiful."

Charlotte Taft, Former Clinic Administator
Lime 5, Mark Crutcher

"In obstetrics and gynecology, the term abortionist is still a dirty word."

-- Joe Thompson, Retired Abortionist
South Bend Tribune, December 26, 1992

"Most physicians regard abortion as a stigmatized operation done by people who are otherwise incompetent and can't do anything else."

-- Warren Hern, Abortionist
American Medical News, September 5, 1994

"... abortion is still a very fringe practice. There aren't a lot of people who want to get into abortion provision ... And the ones that we do have applying to us for training often have very dodgy histories and backgrounds. And if you dig deep enough, you'll find a death or two or a malpractice suit somewhere along the line ..."

-- David Grundmann, Australia Abortionist
National Abortion Federation Risk Management Seminar, Seattle, WA, September 1993

"There's still the shame thing, even among people who are pro-choice ... We are still seen as dirty, even among our own people."

-- Diane Derzis, Abortion Clinic Administrator
Atlanta Joumal Constitution, May 16. 1993

"It's true that abortion providers are perceived as not very good doctors -- that they have no alternative so they do abortions, that they cannot earn a living any other way."

-- Richard Hausknecht, Abortionist
The New York Times Magazine, January 18, 1998

"If we see a doctor out there who's really hurting women, it's incumbent upon us to blow the whistle -- no matter what the outcome. But it's a real choice, because you could end up with someone worse -- or no doctor at all ..."

-- Ron Fitzsimmons, Director of National Coalition of Abortion Providers
Abortion Report, July 7, 1994

"[I am ] angry at the woman ... I have angry feelings at myself for feeling good about grasping the [head of the fetus], for feeling good about doing a technically good procedure which destroys a fetus, kills a baby."

-- Unidentified Abortionist
American Medical News, July 12, 1993

On Deceit ...

"Sometimes we lied. A girl might ask what her baby was like at a cerlain point in pregnancy. Was it a baby yet? Even as early as twelve weeks a baby is totally formed, he has fingerprints, turns his head, fans his toes, feels pain. But we would say, 'It's not a baby yet. It's tissue, like a clot."

-- Kathy Sparks, former abortion clinic worker

"If a woman we were counseling expressed doubts about having an abortion, we would say whatever was necessary to persuade her to have the abortion immediately ... The abortion clinic that I managed was strictly a business operation ... We did not consider the well-being of the women who had abortions."

-- Judy W., Office Manager of a Texas abortion clinic

"It is extremely difficult to watch doctors lie, clinic workers cover up, and hear terrifying stories of women dragged out of clinics to die in cars on the way to the hospital without beginning to question the party line. I began to wonder if we were really caring for these women, or if we were just working for another corporation whose only interest was the bottom line."

Judith Fetrow, Former Planned Parenthood worker

"... we didn't do any real counseling. We answered only the questions the woman asked and tried not to 'rock the boat'. ... The counselor does try to determine the reason this woman wants the abortion. Not so much to help as to use the fear to reinforce the abortion decision."

-- Carol Everett, Former Clinic Director and Owner

"We only sold one product -- abortion and abortion only. We took whatever other ideas the pregnant woman had and used them to sell abortion... We effectively sold our product."

-- Carol Everett, Former Clinic Director and Owner

On Workers' Reactions ...

"It's difficult being in a profession where you have a hard time answering the questions that other people ask you about what you do ... you come to feel not so good about what you're doing even when you thought you were doing something wonderful."

-- Terry Beresford. Planned Parenthood

"The doctors would remove the fetus ... and then lay it on the table, where it would squirm until it died ... They all had perfect forms and shapes. I coudn't take it, no nurse could."

-- Former Planned Parenthood Director
American Medical News, July 12.1993

"I had gotten involved in abortion because I wanted to help. But instead, while sucking the child out of its mother I was also sucking out the mother's soul and leaving an empty shell, an empty tomb. I began to detest what I was doing. More than that I began to detest myself. I even entertained thoughts of suicide."

-- Beverly McMillan M.D., OB/GYN, former abortionist

"There are weary, grim moments when I think I cannot bear another basin of bloody remains, utter another kind phrase of reasurance ... 'How can you stand it?' even the clients ask. They see the machine, the strange instruments, the blood, the final strike that wipes away the promise of pregnancy. Sometimes I see that too. I watch a woman's swollen abdomen sink to softness in a few stuttering moments and my own belly flip-flops with sorrow."

-- Sallie Tisdale, Clinic Nurse
Harper's Magazine, October 1987

"Clinic workers have very mixed emotions about abortion. ... Clinic workers may say they support a woman's right to choose, but they will also say that they do not want to see tiny hands and tiny feet. They do not want to be faced with the consequences of their actions ... There is a great difference between the intellectual support of the woman's right to choose and the actual participation in the carnage of abortion. Because seeing body parts bothers the workers."

-- Judith Fetrow, Former clinic worker

"I am having difficulty with my feelings about late abortions also. More and more, I don't even know anymore if I believe in it. There is just so much pain."

-- Abortion Counselor
In Necessity and Sorrow, Magna Denes, New York: Basic Books, Inc., 1976

"[D&E abortions are] far more psychologically traumitizing for the doctors ... I can't do them anymore."

-- Head of Obstetrics/Philadelphia teaching hospital
Philadelphia Inquirer, July 18, 1993

"[I've seen women] who have just had an abortion ... lie in the recovery room and cry, 'I've just killed my baby. I've just killed my baby.' I don't know what to say to these women. Part of me thinks, 'Maybe they're right.'"

-- Abortion Nurse
American Medical News, July 12.1993

"We don't have real conversations. Sometimes the employees faint. Sometimes they throw up. Sometimes they have to leave the room ..."

-- Joy Davis, Clinic Manager

A clinic worker describes dreams in which she sees "aborted fetuses stare at [her] with ancient eyes asking, 'Why? Why did you do this to me?'"

American Medical News, July 12. 1993

"I have fetus dreams, we all do here: dreams of abortions one after the other; of buckets of blood splashed on the walls; trees full of crawling fetuses. I dreamed that two men grabbed me and began to drag me away, 'Let's do an abortion,' they said with a sickening leer, and I began to scream, plunged into a vision of sucking, scraping pain, of being spread and torn by impartial instruments that do only what they are bidden ..."

-- Clinic Nurse
Harper's Magazine, October 1978

"Two respondents described dreams which they had related to the procedure. Both described dreams of vomiting fetuses along with a sense of horror ... In general it appears that the more direct the physical and visual involvement the more stress experienced."

-- Warren Hern, Abortionist
Associations of Planned Parenthood Physicians meeting, San Diego, October 26, 1978

"Planned Parenthood is set up so clinic workers never have to see the babies. It's set up that way because having to look at the babies bothers the workers. Planned Parenthood workers talk about how seeing parts is emotionally painful for them ... The smell of blood penetrates the clinic on the killing days ... I was the person who had to dispose of [the babies] ... There were days when I would go home and think, 'You know maybe this isn't right."

-- Former Planned Parenthood employee

My Journey to life

The following is a testimony I recently wrote for a 40-days-for-life rally.  Just want to share it with the world.

For the first 33 years of my life, I considered myself to be at least somewhat pro-choice, and the last 4 years I have fully embraced the pro-life movement. My journey was a gradual one, and it began back in 1993, when I paid a doctor to kill my baby. Had I not experienced such a personal and tragic consequence from my pro-choice stance, I might not be standing for life here before you today. 

When I found myself pregnant, I was practicing natural family planning or NFP because I had trouble taking birth control pills. Unfortunately, using NFP is very difficult for single women, or women in tumultuous relationships because it requires open and cooperative communication between both partners. I'm not going to paint my ex-boyfriend as a bad man, but let's just say that he was just as confused as I was. He said that our failure to use NFP was all my fault because I had not communicated well enough and for the most part, that was true. I think that with most birth control options, it's the women who must apply the method and so they feel responsible and ashamed when it fails. 

Shame is the number one reason that women choose abortion, they are ashamed of being pregnant on accident, too ashamed to ask for help, and ashamed of how others talk about them. They themselves may have talked poorly about unwed mothers, assuming they are irresponsible and calling them derogatory names. But even if it is irresponsible, that's no reason to disparage or condemn someone for we are all sinners, just in different ways. Because these women judge themselves harshly for failing they often long to “erase” the mistake of unplanned pregnancy hoping to turn off that little critical voice.

I did contemplate adoption, but I had such a strong sense of pride and righteousness, that I was afraid that another family would not raise my child as I saw fit, and that it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Many women who choose abortion over adoption report this feeling, a feeling of responsibility for the well-being of the child. Abortion was looking like my only option and based on the information I had, it seemed to me that it was in the child's best interest. Many pro-life and pro-choice activists alike assume that a woman has her own best interest in mind when she chooses abortion, but from the many women I have spoken to regarding their abortion experience, I think this is most often not the case. It's usually the child's well-being they are most concerned with.

What I never considered doing, was asking anyone, including my parents, for help. I already had experience with unplanned pregnancy, but not my own. I have 3 cousins who had unplanned pregnancies in their teens. I can't tell you exactly what was said about their situations because I don't recall, but I can tell you that it didn't paint a pretty picture of unplanned teenage pregnancy. My cousins kept their babies, and they still struggled with the consequences when I found myself pregnant. Also, one of my closest friends in high school found herself pregnant, despite using condoms. She hid her pregnancy, had the baby in her room at night, and her baby died of asphyxiation because there was mucous in his lungs when he was born. I told my Mom about what had happened and she became very upset, telling me that this was the reason that teenagers should not have sex.

Unfortunately, when I had this conversation with my mother, I was already having sex, and was already addicted to a casual-sex lifestyle. God Bless her because she didn't know, and that conversation, and others like it with my Dad, made me decide that I should hide any and all evidence of sexual activity from my parents, because I didn't want to disappoint them, or cause them stress and anguish. I even pretended that my boyfriend and I were just roommates like in three's company as we were also living with another girl at the time. I think it's pretty common for young people to live a double life like this. Especially if they come from a religious family. I cared about what my parents thought of me but only enough to keep secrets from them, not to change my behavior. If you are a parent, please keep this in mind, because a girl who feels able to tell her parents about her pregnancy is much less likely to abort. I lived a total lie and even told my parents that I was disgusted by sex in order to avoid talking about it and keep my sexual activity secret. 

Now that I was unwed and pregnant at 19, living a double life and pretending to still be a virgin, I felt ashamed, and I was haunted by the idea that people in my family would talk about me the way I had heard my cousins being talked about. I wanted to feel better about having the abortion and so I began to drink heavily and smoke more. This helped me solidify the idea that it would be best to have the abortion because otherwise my baby might be born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

When I was in high school, abortion was taught as the right thing to do if you drink while pregnant, or if you have an abusive boyfriend, or if you are going to college and can't afford a baby yet. Abortion was taught to me as a solution that would erase the mistake of getting pregnant accidentally. I watched Oprah every day after school and there were many episodes about the wonderful option of abortion and how it had freed women to have careers and finish college and get out of bad relationships like the one I was in. Abortion seemed very neutral and even empowering.

I called around to several abortion clinics and the only hope I was given about my situation is that I found a clinic that only cost $270, an amount of money that my boyfriend and I could scrounge together. For some reason, the clinic only offered abortions after 12 weeks gestation, so I continued to smoke and drink while I waited. I didn't tell a soul what I was going through. I was enrolled in college courses and they began to suffer, so I dropped out. I thought I'd pick up again the next semester but it was years before I went back to college again.

When I went in for my appointment, there were no vigils, no protesters, just a stark building. I was never given any information about alternatives or support or adoption or anything. I saw the ultrasound but it was grainy, and I couldn't see any details. The size of “my pregnancy” which I did not even think of as a baby was larger than I expected it to be at 12 weeks, about the size of a small plum. You see, I had learned in school about gestation, but I didn't recall the timing of it. I honestly thought that my baby was merely tissue at this point, the 3-layered zygote that occurs just days after life begins was the picture I remembered from my high school science book. I couldn't tell by the ultrasound that my baby had a heartbeat, and arms and legs and organs. I asked the nurse if it was normal to be so large and she just said “that it's different for everyone”. They gave me some intravenous Valium, and they told me that they would give me a shot in my cervix in order to dilate it. In ignorance, I thought this meant that the shot would cause my cervix to dilate, kind of like when you get eye drops to dilate your eyes. I had no idea they were about to stab me repeatedly with sharp instruments in order to force my cervix open. The whole experience was very painful and traumatic, I remember how kind the nurse in attendance was, she held my hand and reassured me that it would be over soon.

I started to feel the effects of the Valium afterward, when I found myself in the recovery room with the other girls I saw in the waiting room before. I think it was more in effect afterward than it was during the procedure because the cheap clinics don't wait around for the Valium to start working, they have an assembly line to attend to. But through the blurry vision and the stumbling around I had an acute awareness of what had just happened.

Despite the awful thing that had happened, and despite what I had done, God gave me a gift that day. I'm not sure if all women who have abortions experience the same thing, but I'm so grateful to God that I did. I was given the grace of regret for what had happened. Where before I thought getting an abortion was no big deal, that I could use it to simply become un-pregnant. I was suddenly faced with the realization that something very terrible had happened, that a death had occurred, and that I had lost something so precious. I desperately searched my mind for a way to undo what had happened and wished that my baby could be put back where she belonged. I knew that my life would never be the same, and I didn't want it to be because I felt that I deserved to go through Hell. When God caused me to realize what I had done, He saved my soul, because after that moment I had no choice but to seek forgiveness. It took me many years of being lost in drugs and alcohol and promiscuity before I found forgiveness, and I won't go into that whole story here, but had it not been for my abortion experience, I might not be pro-life today. I may have never been inspired to help women find alternatives, I may never have been inspired to follow Jesus, because my pride had me believing that I didn't need the kind of redemption that He offers.

My conversion was gradual, at first I thought that abortion had been wrong for me, but that it might be right for others, but as years went by and I saw so many others go through the aftermath of abortion, my thoughts changed. Through prayer and understanding, I slowly began to accept that life was something to be fought for.

Finally, in 2007, I had a close friend decide to abort, and through that experience I faced the reality that I may have chosen abortion even if people had offered me help, even if there was a prayer vigil outside the clinic where I had my abortion, I would have gone inside. It was this realization that made me come full circle and decide that abortion must be made illegal. Making abortion illegal is the only thing that will make abortion rare simply because women facing unplanned pregnancies are desperate, and the pro-choice movement validates their choice to give up on themselves and their babies and do the much less empowering thing, the degrading thing, which is the murder of their own children. 

I don't believe that women should be punished for desperately seeking a way out, but doctors and clinic workers, who are charged with their care, should know better. In our current political environment, they believe they are helping women, they believe that the sacrifice of the unborn is necessary to prevent the myth of overpopulation, and to prevent human suffering. We need the law to change, in order to influence them to help these women in a better way. And I think the most important thing that the pro-life movement can do, is convert doctors and clinic workers, acknowledge that they do indeed care about the women they believe they are helping. They even care about the babies they are killing, whom they erroneously believe are better off dead. We must approach them with love, and the most fervent prayers, to encourage them to leave the industry and become a strong voice in the pro-life movement. Some of them may fear that they would be unable to find work elsewhere, so we must offer them jobs if we can.

Making the change from pro-choice to pro-life is possible for everyone, so don't judge those on the other side. I often hear pro-life advocates talk of women who undergo abortion, or clinic workers and doctors in a derogatory fashion. This does not serve the pro-life movement. Sometimes these comments are quite innocent, and I see them everywhere. A friend of mine recently commented on her facebook page a simple statement “abortion is cruel”. Others chimed in about how disgusting it is that people have sex out of wedlock and then shirk responsibility by committing murder. It's important to understand that people who choose abortion do not have any malice towards their child. They simply don't understand the gravity of what they are doing. Many men and women who are responsible for abortion decisions feel they are doing what is in the child's best interest, they think of it as a mercy killing. We must approach them in their situations with love and understanding, not judgment and condemnation which will only push them away.

It's easy to lay blame when we get overwhelmed with sorrow about the situation, and how very many young women go in and out of the doors of a clinic, forever changed. In our minds we want to write them off as careless, unfeeling, cowards, to ease our own discomfort with what just happened to them. Try to recall that your own sister in Christ, standing before you today, was there many years ago. But she still remembers it like it was yesterday. These women, and the men escorting them, are the same way. They have hardened themselves to avoid the gravity of their actions. But through prayer, love and understanding, we can break their walls down.

And where do we approach these lost souls, contemplating abortion? Everywhere! It's not just at the abortion clinic where we may find ourselves in conversation with someone facing an unplanned pregnancy. They are only in the abortion clinic for a short time, other times they are everywhere else. Working alongside you or serving you food in a restaurant. It could be one of your teenage child's friends, someone sitting next to you in Church, or even someone in your own family who has a secret. 

So how do we reach these people with the message of life? How can we give them hope? It's quite simple really, tell everyone, everywhere how you long to help men and women choose life instead of abortion, tell them how you are involved, and how you are inspired by organizations like Birthright or the Hope Center and 40 days for life. Tell them how you don't judge people for being in a bad situation. Young people, or even older people who are facing a frightening decision, and experiencing an unplanned pregnancy will very likely not tell you about their situation so don't disparage anyone in front of anyone else. It's so important to treat everyone, men and women, everywhere you go, as if they might be in this situation, or they may know someone who is facing an unplanned pregnancy. 

Get online or buy some books and read about how best to talk about pro-life issues. Use non-combative language, and practice talking to people who don't agree with you in a positive manner. And most of all be generous and kind, always. If you have a waitress who gives you terrible service, give her a really good tip anyways, because you don't know why she's having a bad day. Spread your hope around. Don't give up on anyone, and let even the most staunchly pro-choice advocate know that you are pro-life because you deeply care about women and their babies. The worst thing they can do is disagree with you, but there's a chance you could plant a seed that saves someone they know from the tragedy of abortion and I'm sure you feel that the temporary discomfort of disagreement is worth saving a life. They may continue to disagree with you even as they refer a woman in crisis to you for help. I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, for caring so much to be out there with your message of hope and love.